Fortieth Post

Integrity. I never really knew the exact meaning of the word until a few days ago. I was at a standstill in that very moment where I was tested. I was given a choice. A choice I knew would depict the person I am, but i just could not manage to to do the right thing. Those faces directed towards mines and their pungent eyes cutting right through me. I felt so pressured, I could not let them down. So close, I was to doing something i know i would regret doing for many days after. Luckily, I was saved. I see it as a second chance. A chance to redeem myself and prove everything i have been constantly been taught, does not go to waste. The circumstance may seem little to most people, but to me it was a test. A test of my integrity. To see if i can stay steadfast in my actions and to hold onto my beliefs. I never want to feel as I just did, embraced by nothing, but shame due to the fact i cannot stand firm. It was as if being shot by a bullet of disappointment, triggering no one, but myself. In the future, I will be forced with many more of these "circumstances", ones that will make me even more less likely to do the undoubted thing. And in those moments I pray I will be as strong-willed to just say "NO".